As of today, I will have been on bedrest for 56 days. 56 days people! I'm lucky that I have been able to shower and walk up and down the stairs twice a day. And I'm lucky that my son is still inside me. I am VERY blessed.
But 56 days?! What have you done since September 12th? It is funny living like this; no traffic, no driving, no going to the ATM, no planning on what to bring to work for lunch, no child care pick ups, drops off, etc. I feel disconnected from the world and the rat race. I have read books (!) in the evenings instead of doing chores. I have caught up with my photo albums. I have cleaned out my in-box. And I have worked full time. I have drafted my holiday letter! But I have MUCH to do. And I feel like "I had 8 weeks to myself and I have not done it ALL?" But I suppose it is hard to do when you are supposed to sit/lay down. And there is a lot of guilt about asking your already very busy and taxed family to do more.
So folks, what would YOU do if you were in your house for 8 weeks and only "out" for doctor's appointments, trips to the hospital, and two trips to Dunkin Donuts. :) Or as Seren's calls it, "Mommy's coffee store".
And TODAY friends, as of 11 am, I am FREED from my bed/couch. We did it! The doctor is pleased; we are pleased. No more shots. No more meds. No more bedrest! Now we get to have "normal" lives and wait for our little man! I wonder if this is really going to happen! I was convinced when I woke up this morning that I would give birth tonight based on the number and frequency of the contractions. (Every 5 minutes!) But now after a visit to the doctor's, I feel better- a huge sigh of relief.
Now that I'm FREE, here is what I want to do:
**Eat dinner out with my hubby- just the two of us
**Pick up my daughter (already DONE)
**Put my daughter to bed
**Get an awesome pedicure
**Have a meal with friends
**Drive my car
**Shop at Target
**Drink a glass of wine (oh wait, I'm just freed, I'm still pregnant)
**Go to the park and push Seren on the swings
What else?! This seems like a lame list but I just want to do the basic things. I'm free! I'm free! As I emailed my friends, I may do something "radical" and walk around the block!
YAHOO! Thanks for all of your comments and emails!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Halloween 2008
Our Halloween was a bit more low key then in years past. No Castro. No drinking. No late night parties. That being said, we DID make home made cards, did make Ghosts to hang in our kitchen, did carve a pumpkin and did go trick or treating.
Not bad for bedrest, right? My Mom and Dad also rented me a wheelchair so I could enjoy the evening! Very, very cool!
Not bad for bedrest, right? My Mom and Dad also rented me a wheelchair so I could enjoy the evening! Very, very cool!
The morning of Halloween, as I previously posted, Seren was VERY excited. When we woke up from her nap, we got her in her Halloween costume! She was Madeline from the books! She LOVES Madeline and can recite parts of the story if you prompt her.
Here are some shots of our Halloween.
Can you guess what I was dressed up as?
What? Still no guesses? How about this?
I'm a baker with a bun in the oven! :)
Friday, October 31, 2008
If Halloween is Any Indication...
If Halloween is any indication of how excited she'll be for holidays like Christmas...we better get ready now!
Seren is SO excited today! She woke up bouncing. I swear! And her enthusiasm for one of my favorite holidays is contagious!
She ran into my room after Daddy got up with her and said, "Mom! It is Halloween time! I excited!"
And it is no wonder. We decorated last Sunday and every night, we light our Jack-o-Lantern. She sings "The Five Little Pumpkins" while dancing near the lit pumpkin. Then we light all of the other pumpkins in our home (mostly candles). We continue to read Halloween books and have practiced wearing our costume.
She looked out the window, at a still dark morning and said, "I want to see Halloween time!" (As if somehow magically our neighborhood would have been transformed).
I come from a long line of Halloween lovers. I think it is one of those holidays. Either you love it or hate it. My father LOVES it. He taught High School for 38 years and every single year, he would get dressed up. We aren't talking a mask and calling that a costume. Oh no. Starting October 1st, he would start sketching and planning. This usually involved my mom as she inevitably had to help with plaster, paint, etc. He absolutely loves the excuse to be both funny and creative. (well, he is both all year but this is a special time). One year he painted his entire head and face in blue and went as a member of the blue man group. Another year? He was a sea creature complete with flippers and a papermache eyeball head. The kids that he taught LOVED this. He would often drive to work in costume. Every year the kids would be so curious as to what my dad would be. What fun!
Seren hasn't quite gotten THAT into it...mostly because her mom and dad haven't had time to be THAT creative. But give us a few years.
Pictures tomorrow! Happy Halloween!
Seren is SO excited today! She woke up bouncing. I swear! And her enthusiasm for one of my favorite holidays is contagious!
She ran into my room after Daddy got up with her and said, "Mom! It is Halloween time! I excited!"
And it is no wonder. We decorated last Sunday and every night, we light our Jack-o-Lantern. She sings "The Five Little Pumpkins" while dancing near the lit pumpkin. Then we light all of the other pumpkins in our home (mostly candles). We continue to read Halloween books and have practiced wearing our costume.
She looked out the window, at a still dark morning and said, "I want to see Halloween time!" (As if somehow magically our neighborhood would have been transformed).
I come from a long line of Halloween lovers. I think it is one of those holidays. Either you love it or hate it. My father LOVES it. He taught High School for 38 years and every single year, he would get dressed up. We aren't talking a mask and calling that a costume. Oh no. Starting October 1st, he would start sketching and planning. This usually involved my mom as she inevitably had to help with plaster, paint, etc. He absolutely loves the excuse to be both funny and creative. (well, he is both all year but this is a special time). One year he painted his entire head and face in blue and went as a member of the blue man group. Another year? He was a sea creature complete with flippers and a papermache eyeball head. The kids that he taught LOVED this. He would often drive to work in costume. Every year the kids would be so curious as to what my dad would be. What fun!
Seren hasn't quite gotten THAT into it...mostly because her mom and dad haven't had time to be THAT creative. But give us a few years.
Pictures tomorrow! Happy Halloween!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
34w 5 days
Today is an important milestone for me! As of this morning, I am more pregnant than I have ever been! Yahoo!
Seren arrived at 34w5days and that number has been burned into my head for the past 2 and a half years. Part of what comes with having a preemie is completely unjustified guilt. When she has childhood asthma, I blame myself for giving birth early. When she isn't feeling well? It is somehow my "fault" for giving birth early. I think this is ridiculous and it makes no logical sense but it how I think about it. Plenty of "full term" kids have asthma and plenty of preemies don't. I *know* this.
When people have second and third children, they always says, "Oh with the first one, I always knew exactly what week of pregnancy I was in. With the others, I had no idea!" I have to say that I have been VERY aware of what week I am in at all times during this pregnancy.
One more week of bed rest! One more shot in the tush! That brings the grand total to 20 shots of progesterone, two steroid shots, two shots of terb and one flu shot. (ok, that last one doesn't count) :) But who is counting, right?
And then the BIG question is, "When will he arrive?" I sometimes look to the Internet for "answers" to these unanswerable questions. I just have to be patient and wait on God's time. As far as I know, I am less dilated than I was but my contractions have been stronger and more persistent than with Seren.
I don't think I'm "ready" yet for the baby. (Is anyone?) But I am DAMN ready to get off this couch. I am getting irritable and crabby the closer we get!
But WE did it! We are doing it! I am already anticipating kissing sweet toes and seeing a sweet gummy smile. And first giggles! Ok, maybe I *am* ready!
Seren arrived at 34w5days and that number has been burned into my head for the past 2 and a half years. Part of what comes with having a preemie is completely unjustified guilt. When she has childhood asthma, I blame myself for giving birth early. When she isn't feeling well? It is somehow my "fault" for giving birth early. I think this is ridiculous and it makes no logical sense but it how I think about it. Plenty of "full term" kids have asthma and plenty of preemies don't. I *know* this.
When people have second and third children, they always says, "Oh with the first one, I always knew exactly what week of pregnancy I was in. With the others, I had no idea!" I have to say that I have been VERY aware of what week I am in at all times during this pregnancy.
And every doctor or nurse that you talk to asks, "When did you give birth last time? How long was she in the NIC?" So the answer of 34.5 has come up frequently during this pregnancy.
So this is a HUGE milestone for me! I am so blessed to have made it this far considering that "threatened" labor started at week 28!
One more week of bed rest! One more shot in the tush! That brings the grand total to 20 shots of progesterone, two steroid shots, two shots of terb and one flu shot. (ok, that last one doesn't count) :) But who is counting, right?
And then the BIG question is, "When will he arrive?" I sometimes look to the Internet for "answers" to these unanswerable questions. I just have to be patient and wait on God's time. As far as I know, I am less dilated than I was but my contractions have been stronger and more persistent than with Seren.
I don't think I'm "ready" yet for the baby. (Is anyone?) But I am DAMN ready to get off this couch. I am getting irritable and crabby the closer we get!
But WE did it! We are doing it! I am already anticipating kissing sweet toes and seeing a sweet gummy smile. And first giggles! Ok, maybe I *am* ready!
Monday, October 27, 2008
A shout out to Super Daddy
For the past 6 weeks my husband has been doing it ALL. And I mean doing it all. With his wife out of commission, he wakes up with Seren every morning, gets her diaper changed, dresses her, makes us both breakfast, gets the dishes going, gets me set up in my "office" and then either goes to work himself or takes care of Seren for the day. It is insane! On top of this, he is working two jobs and looking for a better one to replace his full time job. At night, he comes home from work at 9 pm and has dinner with me, we talk, he tucks me in and then he applies for job, writes his novel or works his OTHER job. He looks exhausted! On most days, he is superdaddy- taking care of all food preparation and cooking but with me having to be in bed or on a counch ALL day, he has had to step it up a notch.
I don't know what we'd do without him. And he does it ALL without complaining. We HAVE hired someone to clean the house twice a month because I can't stand the dustbunnies- they were giving me the evil eye! And my parents are awesome- coming up 3 days a week to help with Seren and help us run errands. (I"'l give a shout out to them later). But other than that, he is carrying a lot on his shoulders.
Here is a picture of us the night I first went into the hospital- which also happened to be his 35th birthday! (Check out the stickers- Seren can't help but to decorate us. All. Of. The. Time)
I love my husband. I can't think of my world without him. He is my rock through all of this. I can't wait to see his face when he looks at his son for the first time.
And less you think that I'm literally not doing ANYTHING, I have been creative with our play dates. Sometimes we lay down. Sometimes Seren sits with me. She liked using the little ottoman/foot stool. This weekend we did a lot of Halloween prep- pics to be downloaded soon. She is so fun!
I don't know what we'd do without him. And he does it ALL without complaining. We HAVE hired someone to clean the house twice a month because I can't stand the dustbunnies- they were giving me the evil eye! And my parents are awesome- coming up 3 days a week to help with Seren and help us run errands. (I"'l give a shout out to them later). But other than that, he is carrying a lot on his shoulders.
Here is a picture of us the night I first went into the hospital- which also happened to be his 35th birthday! (Check out the stickers- Seren can't help but to decorate us. All. Of. The. Time)
I love my husband. I can't think of my world without him. He is my rock through all of this. I can't wait to see his face when he looks at his son for the first time.
And less you think that I'm literally not doing ANYTHING, I have been creative with our play dates. Sometimes we lay down. Sometimes Seren sits with me. She liked using the little ottoman/foot stool. This weekend we did a lot of Halloween prep- pics to be downloaded soon. She is so fun!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Back on the couch
I'm back! All went well. I am still feeling frustrated and tired by all of this stress but I'm hanging in there. I just get so worried and that really fatigues me! Hard to know that any one contraction could be the one that just sends us over the edge.
So week 34 is upon us and the doctors have said that they won't stop anything that happens after this point. I'm to stay on my meds until week 36 and then we let mother nature do her thang. At that point, I'm also allowed to walk around and do whatever I want. Even now I'm allowed to do a little bit more. Of course, I heard that as "sure, do what you want" and Sam (rightfully) heard it as stay in the bed much of the day but a little time standing won't hurt. Ya give me an inch and I take a mile!
Two more weeks isn't bad. And then who knows!
I'm about 90% effaced still and 1 cm dialated. So this is the first dialtion we have had. Most women who have already birthed children dialate early. I'm sure the contractions haven't helped much. But one is better than 3cm at this point.
Sam and I are planning to have dinner or lunch out this weekend. That will be a big treat for me. Last weekend we went for a drive in the fall leaves. These little "outings" really help me feel human! So I'm already excited for our lunch/dinner date- just the three of us.
So week 34 is upon us and the doctors have said that they won't stop anything that happens after this point. I'm to stay on my meds until week 36 and then we let mother nature do her thang. At that point, I'm also allowed to walk around and do whatever I want. Even now I'm allowed to do a little bit more. Of course, I heard that as "sure, do what you want" and Sam (rightfully) heard it as stay in the bed much of the day but a little time standing won't hurt. Ya give me an inch and I take a mile!
Two more weeks isn't bad. And then who knows!
I'm about 90% effaced still and 1 cm dialated. So this is the first dialtion we have had. Most women who have already birthed children dialate early. I'm sure the contractions haven't helped much. But one is better than 3cm at this point.
Sam and I are planning to have dinner or lunch out this weekend. That will be a big treat for me. Last weekend we went for a drive in the fall leaves. These little "outings" really help me feel human! So I'm already excited for our lunch/dinner date- just the three of us.
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