I'm going to try to forget about the fact that we don't get another three day weekend until MAY and focus on the fact that we had a really good time the last three days.
On Saturday, we all loaded into the trusty Buick and drove a short while to Baltimore, MD to visit my uncle and aunt! We also stopped at the Dansko outlet! I drooled over the inexpensive (but oddly sized) Danskos! We arrived just in time for lunch.
We put the kids down for rest/nap and then when everyone woke up took them to the playground! It was still cold but so fun to run around after a morning in the car. They had a good time.
My Aunt and Uncle are just so cool. They always are doing something to better the world. My Aunt is a full time therapist at a school for young girls/women, my uncle is a retired teacher and still is a Big Brother to someone he met 10 years ago! Awesome! And that is just the tip of the iceberg.
They treated us to an amazing Indian dinner. And after bed, we settled in to watch part of a movie. During the visit, the kids were a little off. They were excited but sleepy. And Sunday morning, Seren was just plain rude and sassy. El and Ken are very understanding and non judgemental about well...everything...but Seren was ridiculous! She was just tired- she woke up early- but after all of these lessons about manners, etc....nothing was 'sticking'. Oh well, once we got the troops moving, she felt better. Less PMS. I swear...this four year old is going to be one heck of a teenager!
We went to the fabulous Walters Art museum which was a gorgeous architectural masterpiece. And the kids loved it! We have taken them to see art before but they really got into it. When we got out on one of the floors, we were met with a large Crucifix at which point Seren yelled out, "Wow! An Indian!" We tried to explain who it was. But she had way too many questions. "Why is there that pin in his foot? And one in both of his hands? What is on his head?"
My UCC background couldn't really do these questions justice. :) Time to brush up on the art of explaining world religions to four year olds!
Anyway, after strolling around the art, we joined the rest of the kids in this great Kids Art room! Unreal! They each did a craft, got to do dressup and we just had a really good time! All for free to honor MLK day! Wow!
We had a lovely lunch out and then had to say goodbye. We had to jump back in the car. Seren was asleep instantly. So was Wyeth. Sam and I even had a little chatting time!
I love being close to family. While I'm not always in love with the East Coast, trips like the ones to see my Aunt and Uncle or up to see long time friends just can't happen if we were to move out West again. And staying connected with those who loved you then and love you now is good stuff. Very good stuff.
Today we woke up early..."we" meaning the kids and I! And I got to take Wyeth to his little music class! What a treat!
My parents then joined us and we went bowling! This was on the family 'to do' list for January-March. What a hoot! We played bumper bowling and we also used these little ramps/shoots. Seren bowled at a friends' 5th bday party last weekend and enjoyed it! So we tried today as well.
At one point, my mom, dad, Seren and I were all trailing Wyeth! The two year old!? Pathetic!
But we had a good time!
It was a great three day. Time with my family, my parents, my uncle, my aunt and my kids. Good food.
Good times! Here is to more long weekends in 2011!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
I'm a winner!
Laura made my week/month by honoring my wee little blog with the award of the Show Me the Mommy contest!
Wow! Sweet! And what a total blast it was to be part of the contest! She mailed me a gift card to Starbucks! Seriously? How much does this woman rock? Laura is such an inspiration to me- in so many different ways. I'm glad my little post touched her! Congrats to the other winners as well!
See!? 2011- it is going to rock! :)
Wow! Sweet! And what a total blast it was to be part of the contest! She mailed me a gift card to Starbucks! Seriously? How much does this woman rock? Laura is such an inspiration to me- in so many different ways. I'm glad my little post touched her! Congrats to the other winners as well!
See!? 2011- it is going to rock! :)
34 years and a New Year
I am delayed in my blogging. And I'm delayed in my reflection on the New Year and my goals.
But I AM 34! Yahoo! Yesterday was my birthday and I really relished the new day/new year. Life is too short to be caught up in gray hairs, wrinkles, sagging boobs and big butts! 34! Yes! It feels very good! Two healthy children, one good job, a loving family, friends who love me and lots of laughter. I'm blessed! What more can I ask for!
I feel like 2011 is going to be a big year. I don't know why. I really don't. But something BIG and exciting is going to happen. I just know it!
Then again, I also said to Sam yesteray, just ten days into the New Year, "How are we going to get more organized, spend less money, build a bigger community, do rewarding/meaningful work, live in the moment and get in shape? How are we supposed to do all of that this year?"
At which point we just giggled. Seriously? We aren't. But we'll hope to!
I posted this quote from Obama on my facebook page today but I'm really taken by it. I don't know when he said it or in what context but it speaks to me.
"Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. ... Because it’s only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential."
I'm hoping 2011 is the year I realize my true potential! Watch out world, here I come! :) Who is with me!?
But I AM 34! Yahoo! Yesterday was my birthday and I really relished the new day/new year. Life is too short to be caught up in gray hairs, wrinkles, sagging boobs and big butts! 34! Yes! It feels very good! Two healthy children, one good job, a loving family, friends who love me and lots of laughter. I'm blessed! What more can I ask for!
I feel like 2011 is going to be a big year. I don't know why. I really don't. But something BIG and exciting is going to happen. I just know it!
Then again, I also said to Sam yesteray, just ten days into the New Year, "How are we going to get more organized, spend less money, build a bigger community, do rewarding/meaningful work, live in the moment and get in shape? How are we supposed to do all of that this year?"
At which point we just giggled. Seriously? We aren't. But we'll hope to!
I posted this quote from Obama on my facebook page today but I'm really taken by it. I don't know when he said it or in what context but it speaks to me.
"Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. ... Because it’s only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential."
I'm hoping 2011 is the year I realize my true potential! Watch out world, here I come! :) Who is with me!?
Monday, December 27, 2010
Christmas 2010
We had a complete blast! Unlike Christmases past, we had no puking, no plumbing problems, no huge meltdowns, no infant babies.
It was the best Christmas!
Seren woke up at 5:15 on Christmas morning. Yikes! Complaining of a stomach ache! The anxiety and lack of sleep had me panicking about a possible stomach bug all over again. The 'stomach ache' was sheer excitement! We made her wait up there until 6 am. She was in and out of sleep.
We woke her up with big Merry Christmas cheers! And then talked about whether Santa had visited or not until Wyeth woke up at 6:45.
We put on the tree and the kids came down. They loved that the tree had been trimmed by Santa! They ran to see if he ate the cookies. Seren was enthralled by the idea that Santa wrote her a note back. And the stockings were stuffed! She started bouncing up and down. "He stayed here and played with our stuff? And trimmed OUR tree?" We started with the stockings. And everyone loved the goldfish crackers. They happily munched and ate the fish.
Seren was particularly impressed that Santa remembered our cat Jordan. [Note, we actually totally forgot about this member of our family. Christmas eve found us crawling around out garage trying to find some random cat treats and wrapping in the Santa paper at 11 pm!]
Wyeth fed the cat a cat treat.
Seren fed the cat a cat treat.
The cat was happy.
Wyeth fed HIMSELF a cat treat.
Wyeth was not happy.
Here is a picture of him as he stood stunned by what just happened. Note the cat treat bag.
After about an hour of opening stocking stuffers [really!??], we had breakfast. I couldn't believe how slow the gift opening went. I was proud in that they didn't tear through it but it was kinda painful too! On Christmas eve, we started a new tradition with my in-laws. The kids opened presents with Bill and Linda via skpe. See below. It was the best! The kids LOVED it and it was fun to celebrate Christmas early with my in-laws. See them on the screen?
They got her a fairy house and she just LOVES the fairies!
They loved all of the gifts but Seren and Wyeth did a little bit too much "MORE" and "MINE" during the experience. We talked to Seren about this on Christmas Eve. That Christmas was about giving and sharing and not just getting. We also reminded her of how lucky she was to get gifts at all. We may have come down a bit more on the scrooge side but in a family that lives with such abundance, I don't want her to forget that some families had really no Christmas this year.
Anyway...back to the breakfast of banana shakes and other treats. We returned to the gits. The kids just loved it all. And we played with each item as it was opened up. Seren was really excited for some of Wyeth's gifts and asked if she could help him with the packaging when he couldn't open it himself. And Wyeth loved the excitement.
We had one minor meltdown and one MASSIVE meltdown. The mini meltdown happened when I took his goldfish cracker container and wrote an innocent 'W' on the side of it to distinguish Wyeth's crackers from Seren's. Fail. OH my holy gosh! I should have been put in prison for that crime! Crying and banging of feet happened.
The second massive meltdown happened when we tried to change him out of his pjs into his Christmas clothes. He had a massive meltdown. There was snot. There were tears. It was horrible! He DID NOT WANT TO GET OUT OF HIS PJS!!? Guess who was still in his pjs at 6 pm that night?
Seren and Sam wrote me poems for Christmas. I love these special poems. Sam writes a poem everyday. LINK. And when they write together, she dictates and he types. I loved mine and got all teary eyed with the emotion of the gift. So special!
But the main theme this Christmas was the real magic of Christmas! For Seren, she asked Santa for one gift this year. A 'doll bench'. This would be a place where her dolls could sit. On a bench. She asked for this time and time again. She asked Santa, when we saw him, for this item every time. She also threw in a 'new dolly' one time but the consistent item was a bench for her dolls.
After the stockings and breakfast, the monologue from Seren went something like this.
"Where is my doll bench? I thought Santa was not going to wrap it. But I guess he did. Or maybe I didn't get it. That's ok... But maybe the doll bench is here. Somewhere. Ya know, for my dolls."
After about 20 mentions of said 'doll bench' in about ten minutes, Sam and I looked at eachother and 'found' the one from Santa! The thrift store strikes again! Score!
Santa also gave her some lipgloss in her stocking. "Oh! Cool. Markers!" When I explained what they were she exclaimed "LIPSTUFF!!! JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED!" THe other huge exclamation concerned, of all things, underwear. "Oh Mom! He must have known that I needed this. THis is really, really good! "
Seren also didn't leave Wyeth out of the mix. She was a bit concerned that Wyeth, Mr. not so verbal, might be worried that Santa wouldn't know what to bring him.
"Its ok Wyeth, even if you didn't tell him what you wanted, he knows. He knows you like cars and trucks and trash. He really knows these things. You'll see"
And Santa did know what Wyeth wanted!
After we opened about 80% of our gifts, the kids were overwhelmed. They ate goldfish in bed while Sam and I packed up for our trip down to my Mom and Dad's. We spent two nights down there and really enjoyed ourselves!
We finally arrived around 12. Santa had come there too! And my mom and dad spoiled us to gifts, salmon dinner, wine, raclette another night...and time with family.
After running around like maniacs with Uncle John after Christmas dinner, my mom had the kids do a little yoga! Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
The entire month of December brought us so much joy! We loved it all! We loved how much time we spent as a family! And we weren't stressed. Wyeth's bday was low key. And so was Christmas! I managed to get out my Christmas cards, succeed in not mailing a single thing at the US Post office and really enjoy the time! A full on success!
We can't wait for next year!
It was the best Christmas!
Seren woke up at 5:15 on Christmas morning. Yikes! Complaining of a stomach ache! The anxiety and lack of sleep had me panicking about a possible stomach bug all over again. The 'stomach ache' was sheer excitement! We made her wait up there until 6 am. She was in and out of sleep.
We woke her up with big Merry Christmas cheers! And then talked about whether Santa had visited or not until Wyeth woke up at 6:45.
We put on the tree and the kids came down. They loved that the tree had been trimmed by Santa! They ran to see if he ate the cookies. Seren was enthralled by the idea that Santa wrote her a note back. And the stockings were stuffed! She started bouncing up and down. "He stayed here and played with our stuff? And trimmed OUR tree?" We started with the stockings. And everyone loved the goldfish crackers. They happily munched and ate the fish.
Seren was particularly impressed that Santa remembered our cat Jordan. [Note, we actually totally forgot about this member of our family. Christmas eve found us crawling around out garage trying to find some random cat treats and wrapping in the Santa paper at 11 pm!]
Wyeth fed the cat a cat treat.
Seren fed the cat a cat treat.
The cat was happy.
Wyeth fed HIMSELF a cat treat.
Wyeth was not happy.
Here is a picture of him as he stood stunned by what just happened. Note the cat treat bag.
After about an hour of opening stocking stuffers [really!??], we had breakfast. I couldn't believe how slow the gift opening went. I was proud in that they didn't tear through it but it was kinda painful too! On Christmas eve, we started a new tradition with my in-laws. The kids opened presents with Bill and Linda via skpe. See below. It was the best! The kids LOVED it and it was fun to celebrate Christmas early with my in-laws. See them on the screen?
They got her a fairy house and she just LOVES the fairies!
They loved all of the gifts but Seren and Wyeth did a little bit too much "MORE" and "MINE" during the experience. We talked to Seren about this on Christmas Eve. That Christmas was about giving and sharing and not just getting. We also reminded her of how lucky she was to get gifts at all. We may have come down a bit more on the scrooge side but in a family that lives with such abundance, I don't want her to forget that some families had really no Christmas this year.
Anyway...back to the breakfast of banana shakes and other treats. We returned to the gits. The kids just loved it all. And we played with each item as it was opened up. Seren was really excited for some of Wyeth's gifts and asked if she could help him with the packaging when he couldn't open it himself. And Wyeth loved the excitement.
We had one minor meltdown and one MASSIVE meltdown. The mini meltdown happened when I took his goldfish cracker container and wrote an innocent 'W' on the side of it to distinguish Wyeth's crackers from Seren's. Fail. OH my holy gosh! I should have been put in prison for that crime! Crying and banging of feet happened.
The second massive meltdown happened when we tried to change him out of his pjs into his Christmas clothes. He had a massive meltdown. There was snot. There were tears. It was horrible! He DID NOT WANT TO GET OUT OF HIS PJS!!? Guess who was still in his pjs at 6 pm that night?
Seren and Sam wrote me poems for Christmas. I love these special poems. Sam writes a poem everyday. LINK. And when they write together, she dictates and he types. I loved mine and got all teary eyed with the emotion of the gift. So special!
But the main theme this Christmas was the real magic of Christmas! For Seren, she asked Santa for one gift this year. A 'doll bench'. This would be a place where her dolls could sit. On a bench. She asked for this time and time again. She asked Santa, when we saw him, for this item every time. She also threw in a 'new dolly' one time but the consistent item was a bench for her dolls.
After the stockings and breakfast, the monologue from Seren went something like this.
"Where is my doll bench? I thought Santa was not going to wrap it. But I guess he did. Or maybe I didn't get it. That's ok... But maybe the doll bench is here. Somewhere. Ya know, for my dolls."
After about 20 mentions of said 'doll bench' in about ten minutes, Sam and I looked at eachother and 'found' the one from Santa! The thrift store strikes again! Score!
Santa also gave her some lipgloss in her stocking. "Oh! Cool. Markers!" When I explained what they were she exclaimed "LIPSTUFF!!! JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED!" THe other huge exclamation concerned, of all things, underwear. "Oh Mom! He must have known that I needed this. THis is really, really good! "
Seren also didn't leave Wyeth out of the mix. She was a bit concerned that Wyeth, Mr. not so verbal, might be worried that Santa wouldn't know what to bring him.
"Its ok Wyeth, even if you didn't tell him what you wanted, he knows. He knows you like cars and trucks and trash. He really knows these things. You'll see"
And Santa did know what Wyeth wanted!
After we opened about 80% of our gifts, the kids were overwhelmed. They ate goldfish in bed while Sam and I packed up for our trip down to my Mom and Dad's. We spent two nights down there and really enjoyed ourselves!
We finally arrived around 12. Santa had come there too! And my mom and dad spoiled us to gifts, salmon dinner, wine, raclette another night...and time with family.
After running around like maniacs with Uncle John after Christmas dinner, my mom had the kids do a little yoga! Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
The entire month of December brought us so much joy! We loved it all! We loved how much time we spent as a family! And we weren't stressed. Wyeth's bday was low key. And so was Christmas! I managed to get out my Christmas cards, succeed in not mailing a single thing at the US Post office and really enjoy the time! A full on success!
We can't wait for next year!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Love it
I just love it. I love it all. I love the fact that my son sits in the back of the car and yells WOW at each of the houses that are lit with Christmas lights. He even yells WOW in our driveway when our lights are on.
And Seren screams at the top of her lungs INFLATABLES whenever we see them.
Unfortunately there are many in our neighborhood.
It is a cheap thrill really. Sam and I took the kids about three or four times this holiday season- they had a complete blast. Truly. And so did we. Just listening to Christmas songs and looking at super tacky lights.
I have loved every second of it! From Seren searching with her binoculars to find Beck, to thier new Christmas pjs, to the 10001 times we have seen Santa this season, to the gift wrapping and on line shopping to the topper of the holiday season, seeing Santa drive by our house in a fire engine.
He came late this year around 8:45! And we were so worried he wasn't going to come down our street. Seren already made peace with this. "It's ok. I already saw him." She had convinced herself but Sam and I started to worry about budget cuts and maybe the township couldn't make Santa drive down all of the streets.
When he finally came on top of that HUGE fire engine with the sirens blaring, we raced out in our footie pjs, coats flung on shoulders, running into the cold night.
And we waved and cheered and jumped up and down.
And of course I cried. I cry every year. Nothing better than seeing my children giddy with the magic of Christmas. And it won't be this way every year. And one day it will be Sam and I, in our jeans, looking out the window waving to Santa. Or casually sauntering out with coffee cup/wine glass in hand. But this year, it is about racing, being giddy and waving our little hands off, screaming SANTA!
Because we won't see him again, of course, until next year. With my new 3 year old and my 5.5 year old.
Life is so short and so magical.
Merry Christmas!
And Seren screams at the top of her lungs INFLATABLES whenever we see them.
Unfortunately there are many in our neighborhood.
It is a cheap thrill really. Sam and I took the kids about three or four times this holiday season- they had a complete blast. Truly. And so did we. Just listening to Christmas songs and looking at super tacky lights.
I have loved every second of it! From Seren searching with her binoculars to find Beck, to thier new Christmas pjs, to the 10001 times we have seen Santa this season, to the gift wrapping and on line shopping to the topper of the holiday season, seeing Santa drive by our house in a fire engine.
He came late this year around 8:45! And we were so worried he wasn't going to come down our street. Seren already made peace with this. "It's ok. I already saw him." She had convinced herself but Sam and I started to worry about budget cuts and maybe the township couldn't make Santa drive down all of the streets.
When he finally came on top of that HUGE fire engine with the sirens blaring, we raced out in our footie pjs, coats flung on shoulders, running into the cold night.
And we waved and cheered and jumped up and down.
And of course I cried. I cry every year. Nothing better than seeing my children giddy with the magic of Christmas. And it won't be this way every year. And one day it will be Sam and I, in our jeans, looking out the window waving to Santa. Or casually sauntering out with coffee cup/wine glass in hand. But this year, it is about racing, being giddy and waving our little hands off, screaming SANTA!
Because we won't see him again, of course, until next year. With my new 3 year old and my 5.5 year old.
Life is so short and so magical.
Merry Christmas!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Crap work week but Christmas here we come
On Tuesday I heard that I did not get a promotion I hoped for, longed for and worked for.
I can't go into it but man, it was a total total blow to my self esteem.
There are many factors at work here. So I did some crying. Did some venting. Did some more crying. Hard not to feel like a failure!
But we'll see.
But last night Uncle John and my parents came by for dinner. It was just what I needed! Seren just ate up John's attention. When I came home from the office she yelled out, "MOM! Your brother is here!!"
So fun!
So it IS Christmas. It is about time with family. It is about just being together. Work is very important to me and being valued at this place is something I crave and deserve. But at the end of the day, there are bigger fish to fry. There are people and life goals and dreams that mean more to me. The biggest motivating factor, of course, is my family.
I'm excited to see Seren and Wyeth's faces when they open up thier gifts. I'm excited to drink wine with my parents. To have fondue with my family tonight! To sit by my already dry Christmas tree and just breathe.
We all just need a break!!
Have a Very Merry Christmas!! May we all have germ free days and lots of relaxation!
I can't go into it but man, it was a total total blow to my self esteem.
There are many factors at work here. So I did some crying. Did some venting. Did some more crying. Hard not to feel like a failure!
But we'll see.
But last night Uncle John and my parents came by for dinner. It was just what I needed! Seren just ate up John's attention. When I came home from the office she yelled out, "MOM! Your brother is here!!"
So fun!
So it IS Christmas. It is about time with family. It is about just being together. Work is very important to me and being valued at this place is something I crave and deserve. But at the end of the day, there are bigger fish to fry. There are people and life goals and dreams that mean more to me. The biggest motivating factor, of course, is my family.
I'm excited to see Seren and Wyeth's faces when they open up thier gifts. I'm excited to drink wine with my parents. To have fondue with my family tonight! To sit by my already dry Christmas tree and just breathe.
We all just need a break!!
Have a Very Merry Christmas!! May we all have germ free days and lots of relaxation!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Seeking Community
I come to this thought time and time again. The need to be surrounded by people. Real people. With real food. Not cyber friends or facebook posts which are just a daily stream of my "friends" thoughts.
I crave connection.
And I always think back to my days in California. Where I didn't have kids and Sam and I were still 'new'. The true mark of friendship, in my book, is the friend that can just stop by. Knock on the door and come in.
I had several friends out there that I could do that with.
And it was lovely. And they would arrive on my doorstep. And I'd open the door and welcome them in. To my messy house. To my imperfect meals. And we'd just talk. And share things. Share newly made bread. Fresh cookies. Fresh flowers. Othertimes we'd drink wine and share fondue. Those moments are now 6 years ago. Six long years. Six great years. Full of sleep deprivation. Early mornings. Diapers. Fun. New discoveries. Great victories. Small (first) steps.
I wouldn't trade.
But.
I'd like some more community.
I think sometimes the computer enables us to hide behind the screen. Not reaching out. Not checking in on people in any real way. Not dealing with the reality of the messiness of life. And babies and kids make it harder. It is all about logistics. "Ok, if I were stop by, would I get home by nap? How would she be? If I brought him with me, would he melt down? What are her kids doing now? I'm sure I'd be interrupting. Oh. Forget it."
So I don't stop by. And I don't connect.
Somedays I have a big ole pity party about my 8 weeks on bedrest. It was the most isolating and stressful experience of my entire life. I had great support from friends. Daily emails, weekly check ins. But my friends weren't there in the flesh. Holding my hand. Sitting next to me to have a meal with me. And I craved that 'in person' sense. It wasn't as if they didn't want to be there- it was just that many live far away! I was so grateful for Umy, Andy, Rachel, my parents, and Whitney who met me at my house/at the hospital and sat with me in my 'sitting room'. Those moments were such GIFTS.
And I want to "be there" for others that are having a hard time. Or just need some respite. I want to be the person who drives in the car to arrive to say "I'm here. Let me know how I can help."
I want that. I want to do that. I want my kids to grow up in a house where that does happen. Where friends and family do 'drop everything' to be there.
But my dear friends are up to 3,000 miles away!
So my hope is that 2011 is the year of community. Not just friends but deep, real community. The open the door and welcome to my messy house type of friends. Where cleaning is nice but optional.
The bulk of this shift is within myself. And letting go of trying to be perfect. It will take putting myself out there with people. Offering up experiences to connect. And seeing what happens. The logistics will still be there. Naps will still need to be thought about and addressed. But my community can't just extend to 6-7 people.
I read on a blog last week that she described her life as a mother as 'shrinking to the size of a teacup'. I could relate to that as I became obsessed with sleep schedules, feeding patterns. But I know and she knows that life is bigger than that. There is much more outthere. Much more to experience and do. And it is possible with kids. Of course it is! Some of my most richest, most community minded moments surround my life with my children and husband. I don't want to say that it is either "rich community" OR "time with wee ones." That is oversimplying and unfair.
But I do hope that 2011 is the year of extending myself OUTWARD.
I feel like something BIG and hope filled is going to happen in 2011. I'm just not sure what yet. Join me!
Fondue anyone?
I crave connection.
And I always think back to my days in California. Where I didn't have kids and Sam and I were still 'new'. The true mark of friendship, in my book, is the friend that can just stop by. Knock on the door and come in.
I had several friends out there that I could do that with.
And it was lovely. And they would arrive on my doorstep. And I'd open the door and welcome them in. To my messy house. To my imperfect meals. And we'd just talk. And share things. Share newly made bread. Fresh cookies. Fresh flowers. Othertimes we'd drink wine and share fondue. Those moments are now 6 years ago. Six long years. Six great years. Full of sleep deprivation. Early mornings. Diapers. Fun. New discoveries. Great victories. Small (first) steps.
I wouldn't trade.
But.
I'd like some more community.
I think sometimes the computer enables us to hide behind the screen. Not reaching out. Not checking in on people in any real way. Not dealing with the reality of the messiness of life. And babies and kids make it harder. It is all about logistics. "Ok, if I were stop by, would I get home by nap? How would she be? If I brought him with me, would he melt down? What are her kids doing now? I'm sure I'd be interrupting. Oh. Forget it."
So I don't stop by. And I don't connect.
Somedays I have a big ole pity party about my 8 weeks on bedrest. It was the most isolating and stressful experience of my entire life. I had great support from friends. Daily emails, weekly check ins. But my friends weren't there in the flesh. Holding my hand. Sitting next to me to have a meal with me. And I craved that 'in person' sense. It wasn't as if they didn't want to be there- it was just that many live far away! I was so grateful for Umy, Andy, Rachel, my parents, and Whitney who met me at my house/at the hospital and sat with me in my 'sitting room'. Those moments were such GIFTS.
And I want to "be there" for others that are having a hard time. Or just need some respite. I want to be the person who drives in the car to arrive to say "I'm here. Let me know how I can help."
I want that. I want to do that. I want my kids to grow up in a house where that does happen. Where friends and family do 'drop everything' to be there.
But my dear friends are up to 3,000 miles away!
So my hope is that 2011 is the year of community. Not just friends but deep, real community. The open the door and welcome to my messy house type of friends. Where cleaning is nice but optional.
The bulk of this shift is within myself. And letting go of trying to be perfect. It will take putting myself out there with people. Offering up experiences to connect. And seeing what happens. The logistics will still be there. Naps will still need to be thought about and addressed. But my community can't just extend to 6-7 people.
I read on a blog last week that she described her life as a mother as 'shrinking to the size of a teacup'. I could relate to that as I became obsessed with sleep schedules, feeding patterns. But I know and she knows that life is bigger than that. There is much more outthere. Much more to experience and do. And it is possible with kids. Of course it is! Some of my most richest, most community minded moments surround my life with my children and husband. I don't want to say that it is either "rich community" OR "time with wee ones." That is oversimplying and unfair.
But I do hope that 2011 is the year of extending myself OUTWARD.
I feel like something BIG and hope filled is going to happen in 2011. I'm just not sure what yet. Join me!
Fondue anyone?
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