Confidence

Dear Seren,
I can't believe how much you have grown since you turned 5. Not only are you super-tall girl but you are so much more confident! It is amazing to watch you take on your world. Just since graduation, you have tried your first swimming lessons. And loved it. You have also tried gymnastics. And loved it. You make friends wherever you go. And you just join in! Your entire being at this time in your life, is just full force GO! And you live and love so well. I admire you so much.

I was putting you to bed last night. I was rubbing your back and singing to you as you clung to Rosie. As you drifted in dreamland, I was left thinking about how much you have grown. You aren't shy anymore. You aren't hesitant. You make friends. And I love to see you in this new amazing space.

At the same time, I was overwhelmed by a sadness. Someday someone will tell you that you aren't smart enough. That you can't do something well. That your ideas are 'dumb'. That you are too fat. Or too thin. Or that by being passionate about something, you don't 'fit in'. And if you are like everyone else, you'll start to question yourself. Question your own inner strength. Question your talents. Your beliefs about the world. And you won't be able to just join into groups and say 'I'm Seren! Let's be friends'. Because while the world SHOULD work like that, it doesn't. At least not right now. Maybe it will when you get older. Maybe you'll work to make it so.

And the kicker is that Mom and Dad can't do a darn thing about these messages you'll soon hear. You'll hear them at the bus stop. Or in elementary school. And I'm left worrying. About how we encourage the passion, independence, confidence and creativity you currently have. We so want to protect your heart. But we can't. And you'll have to figure out on your own terms how to be true to yourself. And how to love that amazing body and mind of yours.

So for now I'll sit back and just admire the person that you are. The confidence that you have. And I'll wish quietly and passionately that you'll carry some large percent of that confidence with you well into your 20s and 30s. That is one of my main wishes for you. And I intend to work to make sure it happens.

Love you,
Mom