Every since Seren learned to ride two wheels, our team LOVES to bike. We bike everywhere! At the park! In Cape Cod! All of the time. It is great. And I get to do some wind sprint training as I work to run behind my fast riding kids!
So Monday night after a Monday at work, we took our bikes out, as usual. And we found our neighborhood friend, Ella. Ella is such a sweetie. She lives on our street and is in second grade. On other days, she has showed us her hideouts in the creek, where to catch the best frogs and where to play. She is like a travel guide to our small suburban neighborhood. When the kids saw her, they invited her to go on a bikeride with us. After checking with her mom, we all were off.
We went down our usual way and she suggested that we make a quick stop at the local dollar store. This was a bit of a schlept for Mr. Wyeth but we made it. I reminded my kids about 6 times that I didn't have a cent on me. (I thought I was going around the block- not shopping). So we parked our bikes outside and we explored. Immediately I didn't like what I was seeing. Lots of whooping and chatting and yelling excitedly. I mean, it wasn't Macys' or Ann Taylor, but it was still too loud.
I gave my warnings. And they responded. So that was good. But then the inevitable happened: Wyeth's eyes spotted the car. THE matchbox car that he just HAD to have. I mean, absolutely HAD to have. I reminded him gently, "We have no money, buddy". But I WANT IT. Right. But we have no money. I showed him my empty pockets. His solution, "We get it now and pay them later." No, we can't do that. And it started to escalate. Quickly. As it always does. So, I had to leave with a crying, screaming toddler under my left arm.
Let's go team!
So now I have two little girls on bikes in a shopping mall strip, one screaming Wyeth under my arm and I'm towing the tiny ass little bike with my other arm. During this, Seren falls off her bike into the street. She is crying because she hurt herself and her bike bell flew into about 17 pieces. I'm yelling at her because I'm stressed out and because of the fact that she is laying in the street. All while Wyeth is still kicking and screaming.
I get them all safely across the street to the grassy sidewalk and regroup. Wyeth finally calms down. Seren is alright. I fix the bell. I breathe through my nose. Trying to calm my nerves.
Ella, with her brown eyes looks up and says, "I guess this wasn't such a good idea, was it?"
We continue on our ride towards our block. Then Seren stumbles upon a purple object. It was a bright purple USED tampon applicator.
YUCK! "Put that down! Seren! Put it down! That is nasty!"
What? But what is it? (while holding it)
"It is gross. Just put it down, will ya? It is trash!"
But what is used for?
"It is a tampon applicator, ok. Just put it down."
At this point, Ella chimes in, "What's a tampon?"
I'm clearly NOT having this conversation with the neighborhood girl. So I told her we'd all discuss it later. Seren, still interested in it is looking at me. I wispered, "Can you just drop that, it was put in someone else's body, ok?"
Nasty.
The whole experience required a glass of wine.
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3 comments:
Oh my goodness. I just spit out my tea laughing. If that is not the perfect display of parenthood at its finest, I don't know what is. I think I would have had two glasses of wine! LOL. What a night!
OMG...I guess you'll think twice next time before taking advice from a 2nd grader :) The life with a 3 1/2 and 6 year old is never dull!
Ah, thanks for capturing a moment that so accurately depicts the joys of parenthood! You go, mommy!
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