Anticipating Change

The last year has been all about change. Or the possibility of change. Would we sell the house? When? For how much? Would we buy a new house? When? Which house? Where? How much do we want to spend on a house? What does a specific house mean regarding our family values?

And then once we got here, we still feel quite unsettled. Happy but unsettled. It takes TIME. It all does. It takes time to unpack. It takes time to decorate. It takes time to learn the house. And geez, it takes time to make new friends.

But we are doing it!

And all the while, the summer weeks, with their long, unstructured days, are slipping by. Last night at 9:15 I was shocked that the sun had gone down. For me, there is a great sadness that comes with the start of the school year. I both feel extremely excited for the kids and the new opportunities a new year holds and I feel a sense of loss. That they aren't little anymore. That the days of being 'home' are done with for another while. Did we do enough 'fun stuff' this summer? Enough ice cream? Enough time at the park? At the pool? On bikes? Did they grow and learn and laugh? Are they transitioning ok? Are they lonely in this new place?

We attended the new kid orientation which was awesome.  And the kids are excited! It also hit home that we are not the only 'new'  kids. Nope- far from it! There are a ton of new kids to the district.

Soon, in about 6 weeks, we'll be more settled. More will be painted. More will be decorated. A rhythm to our days will develop. And we'll have more friends.

It is just anticipating the start of school and the end of summer that makes a lump develop in my throat. The years of being home are over! Full day kindergarten begins! And third grade too! Our children, ALL of our children, are gifts to us.  These little years, the ones where as parents, we play such a vital role, are slipping behind. I try to breathe, to take it all in. To smile during the spontaneous dance parties, the hugs, the snuggles, the imaginative play.  What a true gift!

And I'm excited for the kids- with their new school supplies- and their energy! I can't wait to meet their teachers tonight during the Open Houses. And I'll take the first day of school pictures like I always do. And I'll wave excitedly, giving thumbs up and smiles as they walk into their new schools. Just like I did last year when Seren started a new school.

But like so many others, I'll definitely be one of the ones driving away. Crying.