Kicking my butt

I never blog anymore. And I rarely complain on social media. But man, this year is kicking my butt. Our lives are just frantic. I want to capture this because I think I'll not remember these years. In part, because of the giant BLUR that is our lives. This isn't what I want. And it isn't what we wanted. We have bought into the idea that more is better. More is not better. More is just more.

 

My children are age 10 and 8. And we have a foreign exchange student living with us who is 18.

 

My daughter is in 5th grade. Since September she has done/we have done:

• Cross Country running
• Field Hockey at the University of Michigan
• Gifted Math which runs in trimesters
• Piano lessons weekly
• Ukulele lessons weekly
• Started the bass in 5th grade orchestra
• Auditioned and participated in a local community production called the Pirate Show
• Participated in 'Super Saturday' for 4 weeks in March which focused on field hockey
• Played basketball on the local team
• Joined the Science Olympiad team
• Has to deal with damn lip bumpers and expanders in prep for orthodontics
• Had legitimate homework

From March through June she will:

• Finish up the play production
• Finish Science Olympiad
• Complete Gifted Math program
• Get her runs on and participate in a local 5k

Meanwhile, the 2nd grader has:

• Joined Boy Scouts
• Played Basketball in the winter
• Played Football in the fall
• Started to play the electric bass (December)
• Participated in Super Saturday where he has done Bricks For Kids
• He is also on his third 2nd grade teacher due to a maternity leave and a short term sub leaving
• Has weekly piano lessons

Additionally, we welcomed our foreign exchange student, driven him to his rehearsals and try to get us all to attend the necessary (and fun) events offered through his foreign exchange organization.


On top, I have traveled for work and work full time. Sam works part time, and also volunteers in the classroom. We've done house projects, bought a new car, attended birthday parties, been "friends", protested our new president, and we've tried to be good brothers, sisters, sons and daughters.


But as the snow falls and I only have energy to complain and not take care of myself, I am just toast.


It is kicking my butt.


Some weeks are crazier than others. We still all eat together as a family. (Some nights are later than others). And we are generally ok.


But add on some out of town guests or a deadline or a broken faucet and it all seems to go to hell. And then I look around and think 'why are we doing this? In what way, shape or form, does this make sense for us?' 


Self care on a weekly basis just doesn't happen. I need to run after the winter and I'm too tired to get off the couch and make that change. The lack of exercise means I'm down on myself.  Date nights are far and few between. (we had one in October and one in December) And the saddest part? We have CREATED this. We have the privilege to afford these luxuries and experiences for our children. And we wanted to live in a community that offers these events at affordable prices. And we are doing it! But this isn't quite living. This is DOING.