Thursday, July 21, 2011


Dear Seren,
I can't believe how much you have grown since you turned 5. Not only are you super-tall girl but you are so much more confident! It is amazing to watch you take on your world. Just since graduation, you have tried your first swimming lessons. And loved it. You have also tried gymnastics. And loved it. You make friends wherever you go. And you just join in! Your entire being at this time in your life, is just full force GO! And you live and love so well. I admire you so much.

I was putting you to bed last night. I was rubbing your back and singing to you as you clung to Rosie. As you drifted in dreamland, I was left thinking about how much you have grown. You aren't shy anymore. You aren't hesitant. You make friends. And I love to see you in this new amazing space.

At the same time, I was overwhelmed by a sadness. Someday someone will tell you that you aren't smart enough. That you can't do something well. That your ideas are 'dumb'. That you are too fat. Or too thin. Or that by being passionate about something, you don't 'fit in'. And if you are like everyone else, you'll start to question yourself. Question your own inner strength. Question your talents. Your beliefs about the world. And you won't be able to just join into groups and say 'I'm Seren! Let's be friends'. Because while the world SHOULD work like that, it doesn't. At least not right now. Maybe it will when you get older. Maybe you'll work to make it so.

And the kicker is that Mom and Dad can't do a darn thing about these messages you'll soon hear. You'll hear them at the bus stop. Or in elementary school. And I'm left worrying. About how we encourage the passion, independence, confidence and creativity you currently have. We so want to protect your heart. But we can't. And you'll have to figure out on your own terms how to be true to yourself. And how to love that amazing body and mind of yours.

So for now I'll sit back and just admire the person that you are. The confidence that you have. And I'll wish quietly and passionately that you'll carry some large percent of that confidence with you well into your 20s and 30s. That is one of my main wishes for you. And I intend to work to make sure it happens.

Love you,

Monday, July 18, 2011


The kids have been saying some funny things recently.


"I don't want to be a grown up because the Easter Bunny doesn't give baskets to grown ups."

Deep Thought:
I couldn't go to sleep last night. I had a scary thought.

me: what did you think about?

I was thinking I was going to die.

Me: What? Why were you thinking about that sweetie?

I don't know. It just popped into my head.

I was coming home today and had to laugh at how different my two 'worlds' are. In my work world, at 4:30, I was finishing up a meeting about TANF legislation. By 5:10, I was greeted by my son who was wearing a blue skirt. He yelled:

MOM! I am wearing high heels!!

The dance party began shortly thereafter.

Funny take two:
Wyeth is allowed to eat two gummy vitamins. We watched him eat them both. He went back for vitamins 3 and 4. When we admonished him, he said that he hadn't eaten them. "Where they go?"

Buddy, they are in your belly! You ate them.

"I eat them? Where?" He then proceeded to pick up his shirt and look in earnest for the missing vitamins.

Two year olds and five year olds? They rock. It isn't going to be this funny again. And so many daily things are just MAGICAL at this age. I hope my children always have a sense of wonder and enthusiasm. I just don't think it will be this natural.

Friday, July 15, 2011


Tonight it was my turn to put Wyeth down. We have a cute routine. We read one big family story and then we split up. Wyeth picks out books and 'hides' them under the pillow. Picking them out always takes a while. There is usually chin scratching and a lot of 'hmms'. Once we pick them out, he pulls them out from behind the couch pillow- one by one- as I act surprised! I love this phase of childhood. Where no matter what I do, he laughs. It makes me feel like Louis Black! I'm hysterical! I don't want the easily amused, quick to giggle phase to pass. Not at all. Sigh.

Anyway, we were about half way through the four stories and 3 songs routine when he passed some gas.

"Woah, buddy! What was that? Gas?"

"No. That was just my bottom."

Miracles in Maryland

I haven't been blogging recently. And I miss it. It has been one heck of a month! A good month with the family- Sesame Place on the weekends, new swim classes for Seren, gymnastics for Seren, short work trips, time in the sun at fun places like Howell Living History farm, first time seeing fireworks for Seren, fourth of July celebration with friends and just living in the summer. I'll try to back post becuase I finally have some pictures! But for now, a recap of our trip to Maryland!

My uncle Ken and his wife, Elena live in a suburb of Baltimore. We love visiting them and last weekend was a huge hit! We had a total blast! I took off part of Friday and we scooted down there and arrived by 4! Score! Elena made an amazing meal and we just relaxed with them. The kids were so happy to be on a trip!

Saturday we got up bright and early (Wyeth woke up frightened out of his mind at 5 am!) and headed to the Inner Harbor in Maryland. They took us on a fun water taxi! Wow! A boat! It was a glorious day! And we were SO happy!

They even got stamps on thier hands!

We took the boat to Fort McHenry and we poked around there. In and out of 'tunnels' around the fort.

We then took the boat back. At this point, Wyeth had been up for about 7 hours and was fighting sleep. He was sitting up and his eyes kept closing. We knew that if we let him sleep, he wouldn't nap and we'd be screwed for the rest of the day! So we kept poking up! Horrible! Seren, meanwhile, decided she had enough of being polite and turned into a pill. She insisted on laying on this center consel of the boat. People were resting thier feet on it and she kept rolling around and invading other people's space! So rude! We were getting fed up with this whole thing! And it was one of those moments where you'd like to just yell at her but you don't because you are in public. But then you feel bad that you are in public and your daughter isn't being so polite! OY!

The boat stopped at another stop and Elena and I ran off the boat to grab sugar and carbs. That helped! And our kids were ok to make it back for lunch and nap. Nothing like a snowcone and a pretzel to get you moving!

The afternoon was lovely. Everyone rested!

And that afternoon a miracle happened! Seren played with a dog! A dog! A big dog! Seren has been TERRIFIED of all things doglike. Big dogs. Small dogs. It is a huge issue for us. She SCREAMS and scampers up us! On Easter morning, we went for a walk and there was a dog in a TUTU and THAT scared her. We have 'issues'.

But not with Eubie. Ken and Elena are huge animal fans and are so good with kids and animals. Elena showed Seren how to play with thier dog Eubie. And she did! I just stood there in amazement. Before too long she was throwing the ball to him. Back and forth. With confidence! And then she just played with the dog all on her own in the backyard. Are you kidding me!? She laid on the dog. Pet the dog. Learned how to scratch him behind the ears. It was amazing. Purely amazing.

Wyeth got up from his nap and we headed out to dinner! What a treat! Pasta! Fries! For Wyeth, restaurant=fries. So he was happy! And the kids were really, really well behaved. Which was awesome! Naps help.

We finished up our awesome day by getting ice cream! This was Wyeth's first ice cream. It was actually yogurt- but whatever. He thought it was the best!! Check out how he insisted on eating it!

Sunday morning brought time with our friends, Amy, Jeremy and thier new baby Benjamin! What a riot! They were uber awesome first time parents and let my kids hold the baby. This was a first and a highlight for Seren. (I actually held the baby but Seren 'helped'). She loved it! And Wyeth was just captivated. "Why he touch my nose? Why he squeeze my face!? Oh no, he hold on my shirt!"

At one point, I had all three of them on my side of the table. I couldn't tell whose hands and feet were on me but there were a lot of them. It was a blast!

We went back and joined Ken and Elena at thier pool for swimming! Perfect!

This too was good! Wyeth has been resisting water this year. We couldn't figure out why Sesame hasn't been a big hit. But time at the little baby pool splashing around has cured him as well!

So, first time on a water taxi, first ice cream cone, being comfortable in water, first time holding a baby (other than Wyeth) and learning to play with dogs= miracles in Maryland. Thanks so much Ken and Elena! Thanks too to Amy, Jeremy and Benjamin!

What a blast!

Saturday, July 2, 2011

2, 6, 29

Today Wyeth is the exact same age that Seren was the day he was born. The exact age.

2 years, 6 months and 29 days.

And that blows my mind!

He seems so much younger! Or maybe I just want him to be younger in my mind's eye.

She stated talking much earlier but now Mr. Chatterbox has caught up.

He just seems so little. Doesn't he seem younger than she was?

There is that odd feeling that happens. You kiss your older 'baby' goodbye when you are going into labor or about to have the next baby. And when you hold the newborn, suddently, in an instance, your first child just looks HUGE. Like they are ready for college.

So maybe that is what it is.

What an amazing thing to think about! I am remembering a lot about that birthday for some reason. It isn't anyone's birthday! Just the fact that he is the same age she was when he burst into my world.

And while I'm reflective and maybe a bit wistful for that time, I'm damn glad I'm not trying to nurse a newborn tonight.

Just saying.