Monday, March 30, 2009


I am feeling like I'm in some sort of time warp. My days are just looooonnnggg days. There isn't really "weekends" or "weekdays". I can't get my head around the fact that it is the end of March. In 2009. The last time I checked, I was on 8 LONG weeks of bedrest where time was standing still. September crept by. October too. I didn't have a "fall". Now it is as if someone pushed the "fast forward" button on my life- just like a DVD player. And here we are. I am a mom of TWO beautiful children- one who is about to be THREE years old and one who is to be four MONTHS. I find it overwhelming to think about. In fact I spend most of my days overwhelmed by the responsibility of raising two small children on very little sleep.

God has blessed us richly- I just wish I made time to realize it.

So in an effort to realize just how lucky we are, and in an interest to make meaning of the days, three days ago was an important milestone for me. Three days ago last year we found out that Wyeth was on the way! I remember being VERY excited! I jumped around the house. I yelled! I cheered! I screamed with joy! I cried. This was it! Our news! We had done it! Who would we have? Would I go early? What would the pregnancy be like? Our December baby! We got our "egg" for Easter and would get a gift from Santa in December for Christmas. March 27th, 2008 was the day we found out that Wyeth would join us- our second, our son. Our laid back cutie pie. What news! What a day! What an amazing, joyful day.

To be perfectly honest, I am struggling to see the tremendous richness in my life on a daily basis. It is right there in front of me but I can't seem to see it. How do YOU take time to see the blessings? How do YOU make time to "breathe"?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The Country Mouse Goes to Brooklyn

As a family we live in the burbs. While we are close to Philadelphia, we haven't spent much time in the city.

This weekend we took both kids to Brooklyn to visit our friends' and celebrate their new home. Seren's observations of city life cracked us up.

Seren was pure Seren during the day. She was uber quiet when we arrived- preferring to cling/cuddle and grunt instead of chatting. After about 15 minutes, she was off and running around the apartment. (Do the degree that toddlers can run around a Brooklyn apartment!).

She LOVED seeing a man working in a man hole.
"His head is in there! He is up to his head!"

She also had several comments to make regarding overpasses.
"How do the cars stay up there? How do they come down?"

She also enjoyed the ancient elevator inside the apartment complex. It was one of the old fashion ones with a door knob and a sliding gate.
"Mom! We are on an elevator INSIDE the house!"

It felt like we were taking the country mouse to the city. It is these moments that you realize for the gazillionth time that they learn ALL OF THE TIME! Museums are fun, waterparks too but just being in a different place teaches kids a ton.

Meanwhile, Seren wasn't the only country mouse in the big city. I was panicking. When we unloaded the kids out of the car, we were on a very big street. I was GRIPPING Seren's hand and constantly kept saying, "Stay close. Big street. Stay close." (Nothing like putting your fears into your kids' minds!)

It was fun to be out as a family!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


I can't think of a blog title this morning.

Operation Early to Bed is going well. The first night, he was down and out by 8 pm but then up partying like an animal from 4-6 am. So that wasn't exactly a "success". The second night, much better. Same for the third. The fourth night, he was asleep by 9 and got up at 8 am with only ONE feeding! Yahoo! Last night, he was down by 9, up at 11:30, up at 3 and then up at 6. Not so great. But he was a sweat monster...I have to think he was just HOT.

We are hanging in there. That is all I can think of. As in "hanging by a thread". Since I started back at work, Seren got pink eye, Wyeth got a cold, Sam had a fever, I had a cold, Seren vomited all Saturday night (YUCK!) and then as of last night, started with diarrhea. We are just waiting for Wyeth to get it.

All of this in two short weeks.

My friend Whitney P in Colorado was listening to my tales of schedules and Sam working two jobs to make ends meet and declared, "Girlfriend, that is a recipe for burnout."

She hit the nail on the head.

I am so proud of Sam for working one full time job and then a night job (that he can do from home). But our daily life looks like this (when I work): He is home with the kids from 8 am until 11:30. Then he drops them off at day care. Then he works from 12-9 pm. He comes home, eats dinner, chats with me for about 30 minutes and then works his other (online) job from 10pm until 12am or 1 am. And then he gets up with Seren around 6:30 or 7 since I'm either in the shower or nursing Wyeth. My day is I'm up with Wyeth during the night, go to work, pick up the kids, make dinner and do the double baths by myself since Sam isn't home until 9. Seren is a lovely conversationalist but not the same as Sam at the end of the day. I miss my husband! And the two of us are just SO tired. And stressed. It is no wonder we are sick. I'm so grateful that I am not at work full time. Yet.

As Sam said of the past two weeks, "Something has to give and I'm afraid it is going to be one of us."

I so want to enjoy my time with my family- these "little kid days" go by too quickly. And I want to make sure Sam and I spend time together. Because I love him too! So we are hanging in there. We are blessed by friends and family who help us. And we'll be fine. We are blessed to HAVE jobs!

But if this keeps up? Major burnout.

We shall see. But we DO have fun. And we ARE doing it! Below is a picture of us from a recent visit from my in-laws. (Check out Seren's 'model mouth' pout!) And the second one is Wyeth's perfectly round head- Wyeth at 3 months. (He is 14 lbs 12 ounces!)

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Operation Early to Bed

As much as I love, love, love my late night snuggles with my son...when it is just Wyeth and I, and the night is quiet...the child needs to go to bed earlier!

Last night he fell asleep at 10 and then was up again at 10:45, wrestling around until 11. Asleep. Awake. Until midnight.

I got up at 6 to feed him and start my day.

Midnight is TOO LATE for this weary momma.

Tonight I will start operation "bath, book, nurse, bed". We shall see how it goes. I think I'll start around 9pm and see what happens.

Seren is in bed by 8:15 and then Wyeth and I hang out on the couch, nursing and talking until he goes to bed. I never know if he is asleep-asleep or "resting". Will this sleep be 2 hours or 2 minutes??!! It drives me crazy!

So unpredictable! So tonight, after I bathe Seren, Wyeth will get a tub and we'll see what happens.

He just doesn't sleep during the day for longer than an hour (gone are the two hour naps) and while he does sleep at night, he doesn't sleep that long. Is he overstimulated or something?!

Anyone have any ideas? I can't remember what "sleeping at 3 months" looks and feels like. We go to the doctor tomorrow so I'll have new stats. :)

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Life is Rich

Below is one of my favorite pictures taken of me in February. And it isn't because I look good (I don't) or Seren is smiling naturally (she isn't). It is because it is such an honest picture of what parenting two kids looks like. My shirt is on inside out and I have not one but two children balanced on one knee. It is just after breakfast and you can see the dishes in front of us. I am in my pjs still while everyone else is dressed. And I have a zit on my forehead.

That is life with two kids: full, rich, busy, exhausting and amazing!

Eyes Wide Shut

Seren woke up the past two mornings with goop in her eyes.

Our first day back at work began with pink eye!

That stinks in it of itself but Seren, Ms. Drama, takes this to a whole new level.

She refused to open her eyes in the morning. Today she held out for the first hour. She was awake, talking (and whining) but did not open her eyes. She preferred to think of things she could do with her eyes closed. "I could eat breakfast with my eyes closed, don't you think that would be funny?" "I could get my clothes on with my eyes closed!"

She ended up walking smack into a closed door.

Even after that, she didn't open her eyes.

She is a stubborn one, that one!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Is that a pacifier in your pocket...

...Or are you just happy to see me?

Ok, a gross/crass title and start to my blog post today.

This morning, Wyeth woke up at 4 am to nurse. Today is my first day of work which has been incredibly difficult! I cried all day yesterday and much of this morning. Everytime someone asks me, "How are you doing?", I want to cry out, "I MISS MY CHILDREN!!" I usually smile and say, "I am doing well. Great to be back!" But I did cry in front of my old boss. So...

Anyway, at 4 am, Wyeth was awake. Trying not to wake up hubby, I put a pacifier in his mouth and then changed his diaper. After nursing, I tucked him back in and then went to find the pacifier. In the wee hours of the new day, I looked and looked. Deciding no pacifier was worth searching out at 4:30 in the morning, I went to bed.

Waking up full of nerves, I picked up Wyeth. And there, zipped INSIDE his pjs was the missing pacifier!

This made me laugh on an otherwise incredibly challenging day.

Yeah for small graces!