Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Sissy is now Seren

Sadly, that time has come. Wyeth now formally calls Seren, Seren.

We still find ourselves calling her Sissy.

Why do kids grow up?


Pretty much everynight I think to myself the same exact thoughts. And they are completely paradoxical. 
"Parenthood rocks my world. It is so much more fun than I ever imagined."
"I better try to be here. Now. In the present. I'm going to miss it all in the blink of an eye."
"I'm blessed."
"This sucks. This whole thing is just exhausting! It is like my life is one long ass to do list."
"I'm so tired. All I want to do is just take some time for myself. Screw everyone else' needs. I'm tired."
"This is the best. I am proud of my kids. The way they take on the world. Thier imagination. Thier creativity. The way they engage ideas."
"If I have to come home and deal with any more screaming, I may just scream."

How do we hold all of these thoughts at the same time? How do we create space for each of them? For gratitude and blessings on the one hand and the acknowledgement of our own exhaustion and needs on the other? It is like a daily roller coaster. Add in some guilt about not being with them enough (which rides its own ups and downs) and some stress about not being "good enough" and wow- it is amazing that our heads don't pop off!

I work to try to create space- consciously- to enjoy it. To enjoy it all. To laugh at my kids' antics. To giggle as they talk to themselves (or thier stuffed animals) through the monitors at night. To laugh when they laugh. To run after them and just tickle them. I do a good job of this.

But I also struggle to just "do" all of the time. And no one can be positive and upbeat all of the time! They are 2 and 5! It is ridiculous around here! It isn't calm. Or peaceful. Or zen like at all.

I think it is amazing that I think all of those thoughts on a daily basis. And how I end up the day depends on which emotion gets spun on the "spinner of parental emotions".


It is just parenthood.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Fighting for Air time

Remember how much I fretted that Wyeth had delayed speech? That as he approached two we had about 11 words under our belt?

That has changed 180 degrees.

And I kid you not, my children FIGHT for air time.

The best 5 minutes of my day are also the work five minutes of the day. It is the moment I walk in the door. Now, as it gets colder, the kids don't greet me at the car door. They (not so) patiently wait inside. And I open up the door. The noise begins. I am greeted with huge, amazing hugs from very short people. Who sometimes seem shorter having spent the day at the office with regularly sized people.

And I swoop them up into my arms. Hugs all around. My purse and briefcase aren't even set down yet. It is amazing. Absolutely amazing.

And it also sucks.

Each kid then begins to tell me everything about their day. AT THE SAME TIME. And they start to fight. And cry. Big tears about why they can't tell Momma something. Or if the big story is a shared story (in that it happened to both of them) then real chaos ensues. It is horrible! They hit each other yesterday because Wyeth was interrupting Seren. And Seren was telling the story too fast. And it was a mess.

And I haven't even come inside the doorway yet.

I'm thrilled to hear it. And to hear it all. Every last detail. About kindergarten. About time at the playground. About the latest thrift store find. About the new table in their room upstairs.

But man.

Any ideas on the welcome home process and how it can so smoother? Any one else's kids fighting for "air time"?

Then there is my poor husband. Who, by the time I make it through the gauntlet of emotions just getting from the front door to the kitchen, only gets a weak "hello" and limp hug from me.


Monday, November 14, 2011

5k run- Autism Cares

Remember how I joined my local gym for 10.00 a month? Remember how my brother suggested I run a 5k to have a goal?

Goal accomplished!

My colleague from work, Jessica and I set our minds to it and ran a good 5k on Saturday! And extra triple bonus? It was for Autism Cares. A local non profit that provides education and resources to local families who have children with Autism.

Autism is pretty near and dear to my heart as my godson, Lucas, or Luki, has been impacted by it. His parents are true rock stars! And he inspires me in lots of ways!

My parents, my hubby and my kids came out to support me on! It was a beautiful day. Freezing but beautiful! And we did very well!

The best thing? I wasn't exhausted at the end. Just ready for more. Good stuff! Good stuff!

October Wrap Up

It is Mid November. MID November! And I haven't recorded a darn thing!

I didn't tell you about painting Wyeth's bedroom from a lovely shade of purple to a great blue.  It took us over two weeks painting at night to do it. We slept on a futon. Wyeth slept in our room. It sucked but it looks great! "After" pics to come.

I didn't tell you about date night out with good friends, Christine and Jason. Like high school double dating! It is much more magical now that we have to coordinate two sitters!

I didn't tell you about the Dollie birthday party I planned with our neighbors from down the street. Pizza and cake were served. Each special doll (or turtle in Wyeth's case) was sung too. Good times!

I didn't tell you about the freak snow storm that surprised us with 3 inches of snow!

I didn't tell you about the fact that my long time friend from California, Krysta, came to visit us for two days.

I didn't tell you that my best friend Andy got snowed out of her house for 10 days without power and escaped down to PA for the adventure. That meant we got to treak or treat with her!  We also joined up with our good friends Christine and Jason.  6 kids under 6! AWESOME!

I didn't tell you about Halloween! About the fact that we went to join my parents in the community parade that I did as a kid. And despite the snow, loved it. My parents dressed up too!

I didn't tell you about the fact that early in the month we realized we were in the SAME CLASS as 'white meat".

I didn't tell you about the hikes and outdoor adventures we went on. Full of fall beauty.

I didn't tell you but I meant to.