Monday, July 21, 2008

Another milestone- week 20

This pregnancy seems to be flying by at a break-neck speed! I can't believe week 20 arrived on Friday! Half way! So exciting! I have been feeling the little man kicking since early July so that is encouraging. It has been a wonderful experience.

I continue to be amazed at the LIFE inside me. Wow. We get the chance to see him again this Wednesday. And on Thursday, I am seeing new doctors. My current practice is simply too busy! They have made me wait for approximately 45 minutes during each visit. The low point came when the doctor was way too busy trying to get my chart in order to answer my questions. She kept saying, "Uh, huh. Don't worry about that." As I asked about my high risk pregnancy- all the while shuffling through papers. I finally said to her in a NOT nice tone,

"I really hope you don't mind me asking questions. After all, it is my body and my baby."

That did it. She actually made eye contact with me.

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. Again and again. But I want the best outcomes for myself and by unborn babe. And the current practice just wasn't meeting my needs.

So I'm switching to my friend's father's practice. (Hi Rachel!). Can't wait!

We still haven't come close to agreeing on a name. Sam has his list. I have mine. And frankly, we have been too busy and too stressed out dealing with the two new jobs and the new child care to really think about a name. Right now, "Baby Brother" works wonders.

Last week with child care went just fine. I can't complain. Seren didn't cry. And I didn't either. So I guess that is good. She seems to enjoy the other children. I don't know if the child care provider and I see eye to eye on everything yet but we'll cross bridges when we need to.

Sam and I are just holding on- vacation comes this weekend. We will be spending a week in Cape Cod. I hope to just sit around and eat. And sleep. Seriously. That and play my heart out at the beach with my girl. If the fun Seren has at the sand table is any indication, she is going to LOVE the beach (again) this year.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Summer Joy

Somehow it is already mid-way through July. Our summer has been full of days spent in the sprinkler, time at our kiddie pool, playing outside and exploring new playgrounds. Winter feels far away. Seren would sleep outside if she could. Every night for the last two weeks, the last words she says to me are, "when wake up, play outside with mom and dad!" One can sense the anticipation of the new day to come.

This weekend we added a lot of "fun" to the weekend. We got up on Saturday and went to Kids' Castle which is a huge wooden playground. It was so hot. The parents all looked like leaves wilting in the heat. Our faces flush, our shirts soaked with sweat. We would mention in exhausted voices, "5 more minutes, sweetie." Meanwhile, the kids are sprinting through the playground, running full speed and up to thier armpits in sand in the sand box. Pushing shade and liquids, us parents try to do what's best. It is so great the kids don't notice these things.

After nap, Sam and I went on a date near my parent's home. It was so nice to just sit and chat over dinner and talk about the future. We talked about our dreams- for ourselves and our family. It was just a really nice relaxed time. I think one great thing about Sam working is that we are forced to focus more on our "family" time and more "us" time since there is less of it.

Seren starts her child care today. She is very excited. (We have pumped it up a lot). I asked Seren if there was a special friend that she'd like to bring with her to Heather's House. She looked around her room at all of her stuffed animals and picked up a teddy bear that I had long before Seren. She calls him "Momma's bear." Without prompting, she picked him up, held him up to her face so they could make eye contact and asked him, "Want to come wit me?" Apparently he said yes beacuse she then told him, "Hug around neck, oday?" (Ok?) With that, it was decided that Momma's bear would travel with Seren to Heather's house. Wish us luck that she continues to take her good naps at child care and the transition won't be too hard for any of us.

I'll leave with a picture that I think sums up the title of "Summer Joy". It is a picture that my father in law, Bill, took of Seren playing in a sprinkler in Flint. Everytime I see it, I smile.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Where is he?

We have introduced the idea of "baby brother" to Seren. She doesn't really get it yet. That is ok with us. But she has begun to include him in family "pictures" she draws. "Momma, Dadda, Seren and baby brother." very sweet.

Weekly, a nurse arrives at our home to give me my injection. Seren LOVES this. My mom took some great photos of her "helping" the nurse.

We asked Seren, "Seren, where is your baby brother?"

Her response was so classic.

"In Momma's shirt."

She then proceeded to lift up my shirt and show the nurse.

Always the helpful one, that one.

I'm week 19 today.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Times are a' changin

I haven't been in a blogging mood. Well, that isn't true. I haven't found the time to blog. That is really the deal. We are adjusting to having Sam work. All of us. And we haven't even placed Seren in her child care situation yet! That will be Monday. The last two weeks have left me feeling a bit...dull? Burned out? We are having fun and Grammy Camp, as I call it, has been awesome! I have been spoiled by arriving home to my mom who has already started dinner. What a treat! And Sam, despite the fact that we anticipate him working until 9 each night, has been home at 7:30 at the latest. So that is good too- he misses Seren. And I think he has a renewed sense of how I felt all along. Kids are such amazing little people- it is hard to be away from them.

But as we have worked through new schedules and new expectations, I find myself a bit introspective. Questioning how this new little boy will fit into it all. How *I* fit into it all. I know that when Baby v 2.0 arrives, our lives will turn upside down. Again. And I can't wait to hold that lump of love! And kiss him. But man, is it ever intimidating to be looking at all of that change from the outside.

I find myself craving alone time. Time to create. Time to write. Time to do anything else other than work and follow the routine. I have always missed my girl friends. I crave the openness and wonderful times that are created when women friends all get together. There is something magical about that. My good friends are now all over the country. Getting "the group" together requires cooperating husbands, well rested, healthy children, airline tickets, cash flow, and free schedules. It just seems like a lifetime ago when getting together was as easy as picking which dinning hall to eat at during lunch or meeting at the local restaurant/pub after work.

But that is all part of just being an adult. I have a younger friend, she is 23, and my friend on facebook. (facebook is a subject of yet another post). She has an photo album called, "My life as an adult." Newly minted from college, she is an adult. This is true. But lord the life of a 23 year old seems like a long time ago! I feel like the older I get, the more I see myself sinking into the boring type of adult. I don't want to be boring!

Maybe I should pierce something. That would help. Should I finally pierce my nose? I don't know if I have a good nose.

But the more exciting news is that I feel the little man shaking and moving in his womb. So awesome! I remember missing that feeling after Seren was born. And people at work are getting more brave about asking me if I'm expecting. Sometimes, they don't ask but ask something more vague like, "How is your family?" I then share our news. You can almost see the look of relief come across their faces. "Whew, I noticed her ass getting bigger. Good thing she is pregnant. Now I don't have to pretend I don't know."

It is both wonderful and slightly embarrassing to have one's body be part of public discourse.

Being pregnant is so wonderful and such a blessing. However both of my pregnancies have brought many shifting hormones (read: moods). As I said to Sam the other night, "Just hold on tight, honey. Get ready for the ride!"

The times, they are a' changin.