Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Where to start?

I write blog posts in my mind as I nurse Wyeth at 1 am, 4am, 5:30am. But those posts never make it to the computer. I now have lists of blog posts in a notebook by my bedside but somehow just being with my children takes top priority. That being said, I DO want to capture what has been going on for the past 5 weeks. Afterall, we celebrated Christmas! And I have a birth story to share!

But first: Milestones. Wyeth smiled for the first time at exactly week 4. We work HARD to get more smiles out of him. It is wonderful to see his little face smile. We hope to get more of them as he matures!

He is sleeping ok- as to be expected for a newborn. He gives me one 3-4 hour stretch at the beginning of the night but basically needs to feed from 7 pm until whenever he goes down. Sometimes he goes down at 8. Most often around 10. One night he didn't settle until 1 am at which point Mommy was in tears of exhaustion. He generally eats every 2-3 hours. His "Schedule" if there is one at 5 weeks, is to get up around 8 am and party with his loud sister until 11:30ish and then take a long nap. Then he is up in the evening cluster feeding.

He continues to bring me great joy. But the 2 weeks of euphoria I experienced gave way at week 4 to exhaustion. Christmas was over, the long wait for his arrival was over. It just got tiring. But I am taking one day at a time and we are hanging in there!

He is SO much easier to feed than my preemie. And I pinch myself with joy that we made it full term. I still can't get over it. With Seren each feeding was 1.5 hours and involved Sam in the process. Wyeth takes about 45 minutes to eat, burp and settle down. Sometimes we are up chatting for longer but in general, MUCH easier than the ordeal we went through with Seren.

Seren seems to have adjusted a bit better. Christmas excitement is enough for any 2.5 year old but to have a new brother on top of it? Oh my! There were a few evenings that I am not proud of- I snapped one evening in frustration. I felt that we really screwed up having two children and there was NO WAY I was ready for this. But Sam and I have a great way of seeing each others' frustration, taking over for the person and letting the other one cool down. Parenting is not easy!

But while I have my meltdowns and tear fests, I really want to focus on the positive and make the most of my leave. I have too many high expectations of all I'm going to do on leave. I want to be present. Just present in the moment. Present with BOTH children. I have TWO children! I just can't believe it!

I hope I can get back into the blogging saddle again soon.

Happy 2009!


LauraC said...

That little smiling face makes me want another baby. TOO adorable.

I still have lots of parenting moments I am not proud of and I have 2.5 years of practice! It is hard juggling two little ones who have such different needs.

Beth said...

Oh my goodness Megan. He is soooo precious. What a fantastic photo. As for not-so-great parenting moments, I have had many many many in the not-too-distant past. I never knew I had a temper before kids! But oh the joy and love that they bring to our lives. I only hope my inadequacies as a parent don't handicap them for life. LOL. Somehow I know that you are doing an amazing job. I love your desire to just be present. I need to remember that. Thanks!