Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Last year

I have spent much of this fall so far remembering our lives this time last year. The visits to pumpkin patches I missed. The weeks in bed. Last year on this date, I wrote a post about my second over night visit at the hospital for pre-term labor. And how hard it was. I wouldn't wish that stress on anyone. I was so convinced he'd be early and be in the NICU just like Seren.

Read that post here.

Most of my pregnancy, I worried about pre-term birth which is why when he finally did arrive, just two days before he was supposed to, I was just giddy. And there are some pictures that I just didn't have of Seren's birth. It was those pictures of mom and dad holding a newborn that I didn't get to take that haunted me the entire first year of her life. I proccessed and cried and processed again but still felt like I disappointed my daughter in bringing her to the world too early.

Here is a picture of Sam and I leaving our little Seren behind in the NICU. We are smiling but driving away from the hospital without our little one was very, very challenging.

Which is why I was SO freaking excited to have this picture of Sam, Wyeth and I. It is normal- just like everyone elses' picture. But to me, it means the world.

Here is to the gift of life- the promise of hope that a new life brings and the ways in which God blesses all of us many times over.


LauraC said...

YAY for victory baby. I am also so happy you got that normal picture. We never got one either (but I am fine nowwith not having one).

I can't believe you were smiling when you checked out the hospital with Seren. I was a sobbing bawling mess!!!

Julie said...

Its amazing when you get to do something "normal" like your family photo, when you have already been through a completely different and difficult circumstance. Seems normal to everyone else, but to you its extraordinary!

I feel the same way about breastfeeding.