I know that there will be a time when our child will favor one parent over the other. One of us will be chopped liver and the other parent will be gold. And of course we each will have our own relationship with our daughter. Just like I have a unique relationship with my mom and my dad.
Seren, starting at age 1, only wants ME to hold her in public. Now this is in public. Which drives my poor husband nuts. If he is holding her, she'll reach towards me. So I hold her. But now the tide is turning. Last night, I rocked her to sleep and all she could think about or talk about? Dada. Over and over. "Dada, dada, dada, Dad."
I have my own hang ups and worries about being the one who is out of the house and missing out on her life as I work. So to hear this quiet, gentle chorus made me incredibly sad. I was near tears as I laid her down to sleep.
I told her I loved her. That "MOM" loved her and said goodnight. I dried my tears in the dark and was nearly over it by the time I left my room. I mean, how cool is it that she and Sam have a good relationship? Very cool. And I don't want my daughter to feel she has to 'make' me happy. I don't want that weight on her at this early age! I need to realize that this need to feel loved by her is very child-ish of me. And it is silly. Of course she loves me! But to hear only Dada and to have Dad get most of the kisses these days...tough.
I walked downstairs and started to do dishes. It was quiet, no sounds from the monitor. And then, a little voice. "Mama. Mom. Mamamama".
As one my "grandmas" at church would say, "My cup runneth over."
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1 comment:
Hugs to you! Some days Alex prefers Jon, but it actually warms my heart, particularly after hearing about so many uninvolved dads through BBC. Still a punch in the gut the first time Alex reached for Jon when I was holding him!
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