Thursday, August 28, 2008

"You really shouldn't be doing that"

When I was pregnant with Seren, I maintained my general world view that a woman can do anything I man can do. No problem. I ran. I moved things. I helped garden. And I was pregnant. See? You can do it all.

The thing is? You really can't do everything with a bowling ball in front of you. I mean, some women still run marathons while nine months pregnant. But I can't.

This whole phase is kinda difficult. In some ways, you are actually "seen" by your partner, your friends, your colleagues in ways you aren't "seen" later. And part of me enjoys the sensitivites that others extend.

On the other hand, I don't like being a "bother". I don't like that others think I *can't* do something because I am pregnant. I don't like being the center of attention. I don't like feeling like I "cannot do".

Tonight was a bit rough because I had braxton hicks contractions- like 25 of them- for about two hours. I started to just freak out! Was I going into labor? My adelenine started to pulse through me and I became teary at the thought. I got home and laid down. I just sat down on my butt and (tried to calmly) let Sam and my parents do everything for me.

It is a good lesson. Sometimes we really can't do everything. And that is ok. We can let others help us. We have to just give up being in control of things we can't control.

My last post and the subsequent comments from you all, which came one after another, was so refreshing to me. I felt so much better to hear that others struggle with the same challenges. And have the same frustrations. And I'm so glad we are all in this together.

1 comment:

Beth said...

Definitely take it easy--as easy as you can. I know the feeling of hating to not do my share, or to be a bother to others. But really--you're growing a person there. It's pretty important, and it's not forever. As for yesterday's post, it seriously couldn't have come at a better time for me. We've had quite a week. Did you see the post by Krissy in HDYDI? "To Answer My Husband" I had to make Ed read that one. It's definitely something we're obviously all struggling with!