Sunday, February 22, 2009
Yet Another Transition
The first week of March marks my return to work.
And my heart aches.
Looking at Wyeth too long causes my heart to break into little itty bits and tears to fall. I cry at the drop of the hat. I feel like this is the "last week".
Part of me will welcome a few less diapers. A bit more adult conversation. A little bit more time in the car without singing the wheels on the bus.
But only part of it. A bigger part mournes the loss of time with my wee ones who will be wee for only so long. A part of me curses the fact that child care cost too
much. That our home and lifestyle costs what it does. That by 12 weeks us moms are supposed to be ok with the whole return (physically and mentally). The rat race calls.
I don't know, it is all so complicated. Books have been written. Stay at home moms vs. working moms. And there are pros and cons to each side!
I'm just really struggling to figure out how I feel. How am I to feel about the last 12 weeks? Can I even begin to summarize it? How will I feel when I return? I am full of the unknown and that scares me.
I don't like transitions. Nope. And life is full of 'em. :)
Can you blame me? Look at this little face! I'm leaving this little face!?