Saturday, September 13, 2008

"Twas the Night Before Potential Bed rest..."

The ultrasound on Thursday left me on a total high. The boy is doing great- strong muscle tone, long legs and right on target in terms of growth. Sam and Seren joined me for this ultrasound and we enjoyed it immensely. Seren, however, has started to insist that there is a baby SISTER in her belly. Where to start on that one? And when we asked her who was in Daddy's belly, her response was classic. "Hmm. A banana."

The ultrasound tech laughed. I smiled all the way back to the office. We are going to be fine! This is going to work! The shots are working! Go us!

Friday I visited my OBGYN. He read the report and wasn't convinced, given my history, that all was well. He did an internal exam and stated that I am 50% effaced which means I'm thinning. You have to thin to 100% and then dilate to 10 before a baby came come out. But 50% at 28 weeks? Not so good.

I was professional in the office- asking the right questions. Nodding appropriately. But in the car on the way home, I completely lost it. The whole thing is just way too familiar. I was hoping to make it further along without stress and bedrest. I even let myself think I'd go all the way! Yesterday's news pretty much convinced me that 40 weeks is a pipedream. I even dusted off my "Preemie" book last night.

I'm stealing myself for Monday's news. The doctor ran a test and if it comes back positive on Monday, I'll be put on bedrest. Hopefully this doesn't mean hospitalization but the baby will get his steroid shots for his lungs. I'm simultaneously dreading the weeks to come and hoping for them at the same time. Each day counts! Each day! I am going to go through a lot of emotions the longer I stay on bed rest so I better get ready for the ride!

A million and one thoughts have raced through my mind since Friday. I woke up at 5:30 am in a complete panic. Health worries. Financial worries. To do lists! But I have already written some positive affirmations and we CAN do this!

I am doing a good job of sitting today. That's good, right? I'm tempted to just have my toes painted- one last thing for "me" that is pampering. But even that is making me a bit nervous. Not worth any possible complications. Then again, once I AM on bedrest, I won't be able to...And I think I'll take a nap. My inlaws are visiting so they all went to an aquarium. So for the first time since way before Seren was born, I'm completely alone on a sunny Saturday.

Not too bad, right?


LauraC said...

HUGS TO YOU!!! I will just pray and pray and pray. You had an fFn test done right? Let's hope it comes back negative and then all you have to do is rest for 2 weeks!

Did they do a vaginal measurement of your cervix during the ultrasound? The reason I ask is they thought I was 25% effaced at 29 weeks so I got put on strict bed rest. They re-read my chart and found out my baseline cervical length was 3cm, so I wasn't actually effaced at all. It was just my normal measurement.

Julie said...

Oh Megan, I will keep my fingers and toes crossed for you! Bed rest sounds horrible, especially when you have nothing to do except think about all of the things you have to do and can't. Add to that the worry. I am sending you BIG HUGS and I hope you get good news on Monday. xxoo.

Laura S said...

More prayers from me that you do NOT have to go on bed rest. Hope the news is better on Monday. Keep us posted

Beth said...

I hope you get good news today. No matter what happens, you know that things will work out, as shitty as that may end up being. Hugs to you--you're in my thoughts today.