Time. Almost Five.

Seren's fifth birthday is coming up.

Five.

Five.

FIVE!

It has put me in a melancholy mood. Combine that with the fact that our Kindergarten situation is less than ideal and I'm feeling pretty emotional about sending my 'baby' to White Meat School.

I don't know what it is about parenting. Daily there are parts I just wish she'd grow out of. Her squirmy body. Her yelling. The whining. His throwing food on the floor. His tantrums. The fights. The yelling at each other. And there are parts I don't want to ever leave. I love that she holds our hands. I love that the kids imitate us- that we are like rock stars in thier minds. And I sometimes say to Sam outloud, "It isn't always going to be this good. They won't always want us near."

And it helps me focus on the PRESENT. The here. The right in front of my face reality and challenges and sheer joys of parenting.

When I put them down to sleep- and the singing through the monitors is replaced by quiet, I sometimes want to just go into thier bedrooms, scoop them up and hold them. Hold Seren's long, dangly legs that seem to almost reach the floor. Smell Wyeth's hair. The peach fuzz long since replaced by silky straight hair.

This is what we do. We clean. We love. We kiss. We scold. We encourage. We parent.

And at the end of the day, when exhaustion just takes over and dishes need to be cleaned and it is quiet, and I just want to fall into bed...in my heart of hearts, I look forward to doing it all over again. The next day.