High Self Esteem

I have written before about Seren's love of the word 'yes' in response to any question. She smiles when she says it. I can hear her sweet voice in my head. I asked her a series of questions a few weeks ago while she was bouncing on my lap and looking at me.

"Seren, are you very smart?"
"Yes!"
"Seren, are you also very beautiful?"
"Yes!"
"And Seren, are you also very loved?"
"Yes!"

It is my hope as her mother that she'll always feel this way about herself. That she is smart, talented, beautiful and loved. Chances are, she won't always feel that way. I remember distinctly, in 6th grade, I was waiting for the bus stop in the morning. I was wearing white shorts and my neighbor, an older girl whom I looked up to, said to me, "Megan, your legs are just too skinny. They look like sticks coming out from those big white shorts."

Now she could have said worse words. But it stung. My parents, like many good parents, didn't criticize my body or my appearance. Sure, there was a little teasing if an item of clothing didn't match but until that morning on the bus stop, I had never received such direct criticism about something I couldn't change. That was probably one of the first times I realized that I didn't "look right". Magazines, friends, boys added to those self doubts. Running track and being weighed before races didn't help either. Add to that acne and braces! Before I knew it, I was a skinny teenager worried about 'making weight' even though making weight was really about being underweight.

So us women (and maybe men too) are fed a full diet of self criticism from an early age. And, hopefully, at some point, we stop listening to all of those negative voices. If we are lucky, we find a great life partner who reminds us all of those self doubts are ridiculous. Or, we start to hear the truth about our bodies for ourselves. So that when we look in the mirror, we like what we see. We start to see ourselves. And we have high self esteem.

So, for now, I'll continue to tell Seren that she is smart, talented, beautiful and well loved. I am a mother to a daughter. I pray that she can look in the mirror at age 12 (or 22 or 30!)and answer the three questions the way she answers them now, at nearly 18 months.

"Seren, are you very smart?"
"Yes!"
"And are you very beautiful?"
"Yes!"
"And Seren are you well loved?"
"Yes!"

May she always feel that way about herself.