Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Burn out, exhaustion and the BAR oh my!

Today is day one of the PA bar. And it couldn't come any sooner! I actually woke up excited that the freaking thing can be behind us.

I am burnt out. I am tired from child care during the evenings after work and all day during the weekends. For 7 weekends. For 7 weeks. And the stress of this thing hanging over us has made both of us very irritable. We feel like we are under house arrest! The snow and dreary weather hasn't helped. We are a mess. And I haven't had a moment to just LAUGH with him in quite a while. The build up of this thing has been growing and growing and shaped every moment of our days! Ridiculous! Next to the 8 weeks of bedrest, this is the hardest thing WE as a team have had to do.

Poor Sam didn't fair well last night. He slept in a hotel in Philly to get some rest to avoid being awaken by little people. But he didn't sleep! And his stomach was bothering him. He said he got about an hour of rest the whole night. It was horrible!

Tests like this are mental. It is a mental game. I talked him up and kept telling him he could do it. Because he CAN but whew, it has to come down to just DOING IT! And no one can control that other than Sam.

I was literally almost sick to my stomach the whole morning. I was praying for him and hoping that a peace would just come over him as I could tell he was a complete and utter wreck. And so was I!

The 12 noon break was so good. He sounded good. Less nervous.

By 4:30, day one was OVER. I actually could HEAR him smiling. Praise God. Whew. One down, two to go. He said he did a great job, was focused, knew the answers and organized his responses well. Like I said, he is a rockstar and will totally knock this out of the ball park. Regardless of the outcome, I am proud of him. SO proud of him.

He just needs some rest and some good food right now. That and he needs to stay healthy and focused for a few more days. I KNOW he can do this.

And we both agreed over the phone a few minutes ago, that if this doesn't work out, we are NEVER doing this again.

Tonight my parents have given me the gift of taking my children for a night. I am going out to dinner with a friend. I can't wait! I SOOO need this. My stress has been through the roof.

One day down, two more to go!!


Julie said...

Ooh, I can FEEL your stress through the internet! I am cheering you both on!! Your parents are pretty awesome--enjoy your night out.

Beth said...

Cheering you guys on here, too! Hope you're having an awesome night. You deserve it. And I hope you and Sam will get to go out on a glorious date when this is all over. Hugs!

LauraC said...

Thinking about you guys! I can not even imagine the stress. Jon is only gone half the time and I am looney during those times.